Perfectionist
by Qualeo
Summary: "An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's"  Sides X OC Story better than Summary
1. Loss

**A/N: This story took a little bit of planning, but I think it turned out nicely. Part of this idea is based off the way my own father thinks. He seems to think that scholarships and college are the two most important things in life. Everything else, like art and music, is pretty much unimportant. Well, I don't know about you all, but I think everything is pretty important. I mean, without any of that, what kind of species would we be? **

**I really did try my best to capture what a certain mech would be feeling after losing another mech who held a particular bond with him. I'm not sure if I did it well, so tell me what you guys think. The more reviews this gets, the more likely it is that I will update faster. **

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><p>"<strong>An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's" - J. D. Salinger<strong>

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><p>"<em>This school was designed to be the very best for the very best. Without the distractions of unnecessary activities like Art and music, every student who manages to make it in to here will no doubt have a bright future" <em>

"**They don't understand"**

"_He's just your brother. It's not like he was your sparkmate or anything. You'll get over his death in time. You'll be just fine"_

**::They don't understand::**

"_Creativity won't get you in to college. Creativity won't get you a job. You need to grow up at some point and start focusing on your work! You need to act mature!"_

"**I can't give it up"**

"_Frag it, why can't you just grow up? These pranks are slagging pointless and hindering everyone! Why don't you act your age like everyone else?"_

**::I can't give it up::**

Have you ever felt that empty feeling, that feeling that you're missing something important? Have you ever felt that something that has disappeared, leaving an empty void in its place. It is a feeling that once obtained, cannot be easily erased. Not many people can ever feel the way you might feel at that moment, most having never felt it before. People take everything for granted, so they find it hard to lose something that would make that much of an impression on their selves.

Not everyone is lucky like most people.

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><p>"Sunstreaker?" Sideswipe shrieked loudly, clutching the chest plates over his spark chamber as he fell to the ground. His knees hit the ground hard, causing intense pain to run through his body. That, however, was not the pain he was focusing on at the moment. His bright blue optics widened in shock as he received everything from across the bond.<p>

At that moment, he knew his twin was dead. The pain of receiving an energy sword through the spark chamber hit Sideswipe the moment it hit Sunstreaker, increasing the amount of pain he was already feeling from the severed bond. Sideswipe was terror stricken as he tried to reach out for his brother, feeling the painful emptiness of a dead bond. His spark reacted violently, sending the mech a new wave of intense pain. Sideswipe's optics flashed repeatedly, his whole body jerking.

"Sideswipe?" Sideswipe could barely tell that it was Ironhide speaking, the black mech yanking him roughly off the ground. The faint sound of music in the background told him that Bumblebee was there as well, concerned for the mech's health.

"He's gone..." was all Sideswipe could manage in his current state, the loss of his twin pounding violently against his spark. He wanted to claw out his spark, extinguishing his own along with his twin's. This was the way most split spark twins like Sunstreaker and Sideswipe reacted to the loss of one part. When one was killed, the other one basically wanted to join them.

"You're not joining your fragging twin Sideswipe" Ironhide grunted, kicking the door open in to the medbay as he stormed in with the now limp mech. He ignored the aggravated sounds Ratchet made as he slammed Sideswipe down on to an empty berth, causing Ratchet to gripe even more.

"There's no time to rant Ratchet, Sideswipe just screamed his twin's name before he collapsed. I think you know what that means" Ironhide snapped, knowing he would regret this later. Ratchet's optics widened before he sprang in to action, snapping orders towards his assistant Jolt. Ironhide immediately backed out of the way, stomping out of the medbay as he relayed the news to the other Autobots.

"Jolt, restrain him before he tries to rip his spark out himself" Ratchet snapped, quickly choosing the tools he would need. Jolt was fast to react, the mech quickly fastening restraints to keep Sideswipe from moving. Sideswipe's optics began to flicker before he started shouting, begging for Jolt to offline him. Jolt could only watch him with pity, unable to truly understand how Sideswipe was feeling.

"Frag it, offline me now. Please, just extinguish my spark right now!" Sideswipe begged. His spark felt like it had been ripped in half, leaving him to die slowly. It was agonizing. It was unbearable!

"You're not offlining yourself,"Ratchet snapped, forcing Sideswipe's chest plates open. He clicked at Jolt in their native tone, causing Jolt to disappear briefly. Ratchet began to work inside of Sideswipe, doing his best to ignore the shrieking of the mech.

"Here Ratchet!" Jolt said, tossing an object over to Ratchet. The medic expertly caught it, not taking his optics off of the mech he was currently working on. Sideswipe's body jolted at the strange feeling, as if something had just turned off inside him. He shrieked loudly again before going silent, venting hard. The pain from before slowly began to leave his body, allowing him to relax. Jolt and Ratchet both vented in relief, Ratchet scanning Sideswipe before closing the mech's chest plates.

"There, you'll be better now. I've closed off the bond between you. You shouldn't feel any more pain" Ratchet informed the mech, gesturing for Jolt to follow him out. Jolt quickly unfastened the silver mech before hurrying out of the room, locking the door behind him. Sideswipe watched them go, venting once more. The pain was indeed gone. However, in its place was a strange void. The mech was silent for a moment before he buried his face in his hands, making several distressed noises.

His twin was gone. His other half was gone.

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><p>"Wait, Dad NO! DON'T PLEASE" the girl was in hysterics as she watched her father thrusting her toys inside a large bag. Her face was red and her eyes swollen with tears as she cried, unable to stop the loss of her childhood. Her dirty blonde hair was plastered to her cheeks as she continued to cry, willing herself to run over and stop her father. Her emerald green eyes were covered by her hands as she tried to wipe the tears from her face, finding it incredibly hard.<p>

"Angelica, this has got to stop! You are about to enter the one of the best high schools there is! You need to stop playing with these childish toys and start focusing on your grades! I don't want to hear you anymore" her father snapped, stuffing the last of the toys in to the trash bag. Angelica Lewis watched as he took it out of the room, doing her best to silence herself.

"But Dad, I don't want to go there! They don't have anything fun there! They don't have any art programs at all! I want to go to the normal high school like everyone else! I want my stuff back" Angelica cried, causing her father to grind his teeth. He stormed back in to the room, slamming his hand down on a small pile of papers on her desk. Angelica flinched at the noise, finding it hard to look him in the eyes.

"Angelica, you will fill out this paperwork to the BEST of your abilities. I will be looking over it. You will take the test and do the BEST. You will get yourself in to this school and earn the scholarships you need for college!" he shouted loudly, causing the girl to wince.

"Yes dad" she spoke in a low voice, trembling out of fear. Her father was an incredibly intimidating man, keeping his family in check by using his loud and powerful voice. If something did not go his way, he would make a big fuss about it. He wanted everything to be perfect. He was the dictator of their household.

"Good, now you better have this done in three days. The test is in a week, the very same day we will find out if you pass. And if you don't pass…" he had a dark look on his face, causing her to nod quickly to get him out of her room. Smiling triumphantly, her father stomped out of the room once more, dragging the rest of her toys out of the room. Angelica watched him go, her eyes slowly looking over at the stack of papers on her desk. She really did want him to be proud of her. She always did. However, he was not someone easy to please.

"Why can't my work be good enough for you…" angelica whispered quietly, her eyes darting to the empty corner that had once held her artwork. She had always been an artistic young girl, painting all sorts of things. Her mother had enjoyed every painting she did, being the barrier that prevented her father from doing everything. Now, however, her mother was back to doing her job. She was part of the military, currently assigned to some base somewhere. Her father had taken advantage of this opportunity to make things the way he wanted. With a cry of frustration, Angelica threw herself on to her bed, letting the tears come out until there were no more to shed.

Her everything was gone. She was losing herself.

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><p><strong>AN: Well here you go, the very first chapter of a fanfic I hope you all will enjoy. I myself think I did pretty well. Anyways, don't forget to review and give me feedback. I enjoy every bit of it (Not only does it tell me you like it, but it also helps me improve my writing). **


	2. Broken

**A/N: Well here it is , chapter two! Hopefully I can gain a little more interest in the story (More reviews means faster uploads!). I hope you all enjoy this story 9Maybe it will gain a few more fans?).**

**Sky's Breaker: I'm glad you liked it. I really tried to capture the emotion Sideswipe would be feeling when he felt something like the death of his twin. **

**DeathByLackOfMusic: I'm glad you liked it! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**.Uchiha: Glad you think so! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

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><p>"Dat's not fair, you musta cheated or somethin'! I woulda won if you hadn't done dat!" Mudflap argued, frustrated with his currently smug twin Skids. The two had been working on a training exercise, both trying to knock the other mech down first. Skids had succeeded by taking advantage of his surroundings, causing Mudflap to end up on the floor in defeat. The twin had not taken it so well.<p>

"Ah, your bein' ah sore loser! I won fair and square!" Skids argued, a victorious smile on his faceplates. Mudflap vented before lunging at Skids, knocking the mech to the ground. Skids retaliated immediately, hitting the mech currently on top of him as hard as he could. The two began to bicker loudly, their voices drowning out anyone trying to speak around them.

"Honestly, you two are fragging ridiculous!" Sideswipe finally snapped, wrenching the two apart before either of them could do any more damage. He promptly threw the twins backwards from each other, watching as they skidded across the ground before landing in separate piles of metal. They both groaned in unison.

"Hey, I wasn't done with him yet! I woulda won if you hadn't butted in!" Skids complained, sitting up slowly. Mudflap seemed to be thinking along the same lines, scowling at Skids from across the floor. Sideswipes rolled his optics, skating in between them both.

"You probably would have killed him and then you would be incredibly upset!" Sideswipe stated, watching Skids. The twin snorted, waving his hand in dismissal as he pushed himself off the ground.

"Nah, ah wouldn't miss Mudflap. I would be the victorious twin if Mudflap dropped dead" Skids was completely joking about this, forgetting about who was standing between them. Sideswipe's mood completely changed, the mech scowling visibly. The ache in his spark seemed to flutter back in to existence, causing Sideswipe to vent loudly. Sideswipe then proceeded to evacuate the area, skating towards the hanger as quickly as possible. If he stayed there any longer, he would have probably tried to offline the twins. Skids and Mudflap watched him go in confusion before realization dawned upon Mudflap.

"Yo afthole, you royally screwed dat up!"

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><p>Sideswipe vented in frustration as he tried move the large paintbrush across the paper in a straight line, resulting in what appeared to be a messed up smiley face. He was completely horrible at these types of things, though he could not stop himself from doing it. If he ever tried to stop, it would only cause the emptiness he was feeling to expand. It was not necessarily painful, but incredibly uncomfortable and distracting. So, he tried his best to paint. He found it incredibly difficult.<p>

"Sideswipe, maybe you should try painting the way you usually do. With a spray paint bottle and an Autobot as a canvas" the voice of one of the newest members of NEST tore him away from his failed masterpiece, the Autobot's optics darting to the approaching figure. The figure turned out to be a female human, her dirty blonde hair tied back in to a messy ponytail. Her bright blue eyes gleamed in amusement as she watched the mech snort at her.

"As if you could do any better human" Sideswipe muttered, though he was considering changing his canvas. Maybe Ironhide would be a good start. The female only smiled at him in amusement, leaning against the wall with her arms folded across her chest.

"Honestly, you are the only Autobot here who doesn't bother to learn ANY of our names. My name is Christine Stewart, not human or squishy like Ironhide refers to me as" she scolded him playfully, earning a pair of rolling optics from Sideswipe.

"All I really know is that you all are another bunch of potential prank victims. I'd watch your back around here _Christine_" Sideswipe spoke sarcastically, though he was smiling slightly now. She sounded a little like Prowl from back during the old days, though he was less strict. He watched as she laughed at him, shaking her head in fake disapproval. She was definitely not a Prowl.

"Don't worry; I think I can handle myself. I'm already watching my back for Ironhide. That old mech seems to think all of us newcomers could be a Decepticon spy. I'm afraid he might blast me in to a pile of ash if I tried to even come in to his shooting range" she spoke casually; knowing that Sideswipe was one of the few she could speak to like this. She was also aware of how immature the mech could be for his age, pulling pranks on everybody who came in to his view.

"Well, considering I once painted a Decepticon symbol one of the new member's cars, which he proceeded to blow up, it doesn't surprise me. He doesn't take jokes very well at all" Sideswipe said, earning a fake glare from Christine.

"So it was you who did that! Ironhide nearly tore up my car when he was 'inspecting' it for the first time. I thought I was going to have to buy a new one!" she scolded him again in the same tone, causing Sideswipe to snort.

"My job is done, looks like I indirectly pranked you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how to paint a fragging straight line" Sideswipe said, feigning annoyance. Christine smiled at his words, glancing up at his 'masterpiece'.

"Well, if you actually decided to use your holoform, I could probably point you towards someone who could help you with your situation" she said slowly, earning his attention. He cocked an optic ridge at her, signaling for her to go on without saying anything. Christine noticed and continued to speak.

"My daughter, who I haven't seen in ages, happens to be a great artist. I was just about to drop by my house to surprise her and my husband. You could tag along with me to meet her and decide whether or not you'd want to have her help you. Her artwork was really good when I last saw, so it should be amazing by now" Christine continued, bragging a little about her daughter's abilities.

"You'd have to ask Prime to allow me to do something like that. It sounds interesting, but Prime would kick my afterplating back to cybertron if I did that without his permission" Sideswipe remarked, earning a little bit of laughter.

"Well, If I can manage to convince Ironhide that I'm not a threat, I could ask him for yo-" Christine began, only to be cut off by Sideswipe raising his hand. He had a distracted expression on his face, showing that he was in contact with someone.

::Optimus, I need to ask you something. It's Sideswipe:: Sideswipe added quickly, already guessing that would be what Optimus asked first. He waited as patiently as someone like himself could wait, hoping that the Prime would answer soon.

::Sideswipe, if it is about Street-racing with the humans again, I have already told you no. Not only is it illegal, but it also shows up badly against us:: Optimus was firm with the prankster, causing Sideswipe to nearly snort over the comm. Instead, he willed himself to stay quiet as he spoke again.

::No No, I'm not asking about that. I was going to see if you'd let me take some art lessons from a human, using my holoform of course:: Sideswipe earned a moment of silence from the Prime, already guessing why Optimus was taking so long. The Autobot was probably trying to figure out why Sideswipe would want help from a human for something like art. He assumed Optimus had figured it out, as the leader began to speak once more.

::As long as none of the Autobots or human vehicles end up as one of you works of art, then I will allow you to attend. Stay undercover at all times and only break your cover if needed to. Who is the human?:: Optimus spoke quickly this time, his tone sounding slightly different this time. Sideswipe arched an optic ridge before speaking again.

::The human is one of the creations of one of the new members. I'll try and stay out of trouble Prime, I promise:: Sideswipe added, listening to the leader as he spoke again. It was at this point Sideswipe recognized the tone. Optimus was amused.

::Fine Sideswipe, I'll allow you to do this. Optimus out:: Optimus cut off the comm. link, sounding quite amused by the situation. Sideswipe scowled a little before looking down at Christine.

"No need, I just asked him. He says I can go" Sideswipe informed her, earning a nod. Christine stood up slowly, stretching and cracking her knuckles, a gesture that disturbed Sideswipe to no end.

"All right, well I'm leaving right now. So I guess I'll take you to my home. Don't worry, I still remember where it is" she added, smiling. Sideswipe nodded before transforming, his silver alt mode gleaming. Christine could not help but stare at the car, amazed by how expensive it looked. She then snorted as the window rolled down, revealing the holoform of Sideswipe.

His hair was the same color as hers, combed back in to a style fit for someone with expensive tastes like him. His eyes were a strange glowing blue color, though they looked normal from far away. He was a light skinned teenager currently wearing a pair of stylish jeans with a plain yellow shirt to match. He raised a holographic eyebrow at her, looking slightly impatient.

"Well, are you coming or not?" he asked, causing her to snort. Christine walked over to the other side, slowly climbing in to the passenger seat. The seatbelt automatically slid around her, clicking in to place.

"All right, here is where you go"

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><p>The silver mech pulled in to the driveway slowly, revving his engine loudly upon Christine's request before silencing. Christine slowly climbed out along with Sideswipe's holoform, half expecting her daughter to come running out with paint all over her hands. She frowned slightly when the door to her home did not even open, wondering why her daughter was not outside yet. She decided that Angelica was too occupied with something to come running out. Maybe she was distracted by a beautiful art piece.<p>

"Are you sure this is your designated dwelling femme? I don't see your creation" Sideswipe commented, having been forced to endure her stories about her daughter. He had drowned out a few of them, but had not missed her comment about how her daughter would come running out to greet her. Christine only smiled at his words as she began heading for the door.

"Yes this is my home Sideswipe; she is probably just busy with something. She probably doesn't even realize it's me" Christine assured him, knocking lightly on the door. Sideswipe leaned up against the brick wall beside her, praying to Primus that Christine's sparkmate would come soon. As if Primus himself had heard the mech's thoughts, the door clicked before it was pried open. A man stepped in to view, looking at Christine with surprise. However, it quickly turned in to suspicion when he noticed Sideswipe.

"Christine, I didn't know you were here! Who is this?" he asked almost immediately, his eyes darting from her to him in an accusing manner. Christine did not fail to notice, laughing at the expression on his face. Her husband could be so paranoid sometimes. She supposed he had a right to be, however, as he had never met Sideswipe's holoform before.

"Relax Jake, this is just a co-worker from work. I brought him here because he wanted to speak with Angelica. Where is my sweetie anyways?" Christine reassured him, kissing her husband gently. Jake returned the gesture, though there seemed to be the smallest of barriers between the two. Sideswipe guessed that the time away had been hard for the both of them.

"Angelica is upstairs in her room working on- " Jake began, only to be caught off by Christine. She smiled, glancing over at the waiting Sideswipe.

"All right Sideswipe, she's upstairs in the room directly to the left of the staircase. You can go right on up" she said, earning a horrified look from Jake. Sideswipe nodded before quietly walking past Jake, who seemed to be glaring daggers at his back. Christine hushed Jake before he could protest, silently directing him towards the kitchen. The couple hurried over to the kitchen while Sideswipe headed for the stairs.

The first thing Sideswipe noticed was the array of picture frames attached to the wall, the same three people in each of them. He noticed how the row of pictures started at a fairly old image of Christine and Jake from when they were younger. He scanned each picture slowly, noting the appearance of a third sparkling as time passed by. The girl seemed to grow a year older in every picture, smiling brightly with emerald green optics like her father's. Her hands and clothes were stained with different colors as she grew older, though something strange at the end caught his attention. The last image was an incredibly serious one, the girl and Jake standing together wearing grey. Her former sparkling emerald eyes seemed to be empty now, staring at the camera with a serious expression. Sideswipe's eyes darted from the picture of three from before to that one in particular, wondering why they were so different. That was when he noticed them.

A pair of curious green eyes stared at him from the ledge on the left, torn between curiosity and seriousness. They watched his movement for a few more seconds before realizing he was staring back, disappearing from view. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing, continuing up the stairs. He finally reached his destination, steeping through the open doorway.

"You shouldn't be in here, I don't know you" a girl spoke calmly to him, her green eyes fixated on his holoform. Her hair was tied back in to a neat ponytail, the same dirty blonde color as Christine's. She wore a set of grey dress pants with a white button shirt to match, obviously the uniform of her school. In her right hand was a small pencil, her left holding a notebook.

"Well actually, I'm supposed to be up here looking for someone named angelica. Obviously I must have walked in to the wrong room, so I'm just gonna head back now" Sideswipe said slowly, feeling a little awkward as he began to creep out.

"No wait, you're in the right room. I didn't know you were looking for me. Are you a student at my school?" she asked, cocking her head to the side in curiosity. Sideswipe froze, cursing rather loudly when he fell backwards. The loud thumping he made startled Angelica, who was tempted to start laughing. However, she held it in easily. She was not supposed to laugh at things like this. Her father would be angry at her.

"Are you all right?" she asked, sounding concerned. Sideswipe was startled by her reaction, expecting her to laugh at him like her mother would. This daughter of Christine's was definitely not what he had expected or heard from Christine.

"Nah, I'm all right. I'm actually not student from your school. I'm too old for a high school anyways" Sideswipe added, rising to his feet slowly. Angelica arched an eyebrow, wondering what this guy would possibly want. She also wondered how he had managed to get past her dad and all the way up here.

"What do you need then? You're not a TEACHER are you?" Angelica asked, though she doubted the idea of this person being a teacher. The administration would never let someone as…immature as he was. This guy would have been immediately rejected for any position of any subject.

"Really, you seem to think I'm here for something school related? No, I'm not. I'm actually here to ask you a bit about art" Sideswipe noticed the reaction immediately. Her body stiffed and her face paled, her face dropping slightly. Her eyes widened slightly as she stared at Sideswipe. He was about to say something when she cut him off immediately, quickly composing herself once more.

"No, I can't help you with that. I'm terribly sorry" she spoke quickly, gesturing for Sideswipe to leave immediately. Sideswipe arched an eyebrow, though he began to back out slowly. He was about to say something more when the stomping of feet up the stairs and Christine's voice breached his ears. He assumed Angelica had heard as well, her eyes widening in surprise.

"You mean you BROKE her? Jake!" Christine seemed incredibly distressed as she yelled at her husband, appearing at the top of the stairs. Her eyes darted from a startled Sideswipe to an even more surprised angelica, rushing over to her daughter. Jake appeared next, looking annoyed. Sideswipe instantly put on an innocent expression.

"I did not break her Christine, I just taught her how to grow up! You can't expect me to baby her forever!" he protested at the accusation, glancing over suspiciously at the innocent looking Sideswipe.

"Oh my poor baby, he sucked the life right out of you! What happened to all of your wonderful artwork?" Christine pulled angelica in to a tight hug, smiling sadly. Her eyes darted around the room, noting that all of the artwork that once hung on the wall was gone. This was truly a grown-up's room.

"Mom, I'm fine! I'm going to a really great school and getting good grades! I'll get in to a good college for sure! Aren't you proud?" Angelica sounded a little disturbed, not understanding why her mother was so upset. Her father had said that she would be proud to see her daughter achieving in life like she was now. She knew she could not make her father proud, but she had hoped to at least make her mother proud. Was she really so imperfect?

"Of course I am, but I had hoped to see you painting, not working on things like this!" Christine pulled away, gesturing towards the desk full of papers. Angelica's eyes darted away from her mother's glancing at the wall now.

"Christine, how about we talk about this later? Your co-worker is still here" Jake spoke up, sounding incredibly agitated about sideswipe's presence. Sideswipe continue dot look innocent, though he began to secretly plan something big for this man. Breaking your own sparkling was incredibly frowned upon on Cybertron.

"Yes we will. Sideswipe, I'm sorry. It looks like you won't be getting much help at the moment" Christine sounded apologetic, smiling at Sideswipe.

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's fine, I'll just leave now" Sideswipe said, waving it away like it was nothing. He hurried past Jake, fully aware of the man's disapproval of his presence. Sideswipe smirked as he stepped down the stairs, planning big. Christine followed him down, heading out in to the driveway beside his alt form.

"I'll see if I can fix her up again Sideswipe. Hopefully I'll have my little artist back again" she said, sighing. Sideswipe smiled at her, his holoform climbing in to his alt mode.

"Oh don't worry; I think you'll get her back. If you want, I can be of a little assistance" Sideswipe said, confusing her. Christine arched an eyebrow.

"Sideswipe, I hope you don't do anything illegal" Christine said before heading back in to the house, locking the door behind her. She stood at the door for a moment, smiling. She knew this was going to be pretty funny.

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><p>Angelica nearly jumped out of the skin when she heard her father's angry voice, climbing out of bed slowly. She scurried over to her window, peeking outside. Her eyes widened in shock at what she saw. Her mother and father were both standing out beside what used to be a black car, now painted with several different colors. Angelica found it hard not to smile, the expression finally making it's way on to her face. She stared at it for a few minutes before noticing something across the street, her eyes focusing on it. It was the boy from yesterday.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: and so begins sideswipe's campaign at "fixing" Angelica. Maybe angelica may end up fixing him during the process? Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to review and give me feedback, I really appreciate it!**


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